Can Suffering Make You an Introvert?

 Long... hard... exhausting... roads change a person... completely and to the core.

 Once upon a time I was an extrovert, but that feels like a distant memory. The change begun as a slow draining away as we dove into parenting kids with lots of trauma. I’m not the person I was before.
•
Maybe it’s grief, fear, sadness for what we used to be - I’m not sure. I’m so bad at small talk now. I have little use for shallow chatter.
•
But I love people. I pray more, think more, write more. I fight my enemies of worry and anxiety. I think this may be the new me - no longer an extrovert but still a lover of meaningful relationships.
•
I’ve been changed by trauma and grief - I think about it every day. I know God has me in the palm of His hand. Nothing in my life, my mind, or my heart surprises Him. My world feels so much smaller now.
•

Suffering may have come as the family you once were raising, loving.... disappeared in the wake of parenting children with early trauma.

Suffering requires us to reach deep into our souls, and for many of us, to fall desperately at the feet of Jesus. Pain and fear drive us to seek strength and comfort.

This costs us everything, living everyday life seeming trivial. Who can think about anything extra when it takes everything you’ve got to get out of bed and muster the courage to be the mom you want to be?

So many things fall away as your life is pared down to the essentials.

Which leaves me with the question of how this seems to have changed my personality. I used to love being with people and would choose going out for coffee with a friend before staying home alone any day.

Now I crave time alone. I would never have dreamed I would need and want (almost covet) so much time alone. I find it disconcerting sometimes – who am I?

Things I used to love like painting, women's bible study, and bible journaling moms group seem too hard now. I avoid going to the grocery store as long as possible and find it hard to answer when the phone rings. Thank the Lord for texting!

I still love having a friend or two over sometimes; I want deep conversations. I just don’t have energy for much else.

My Husband and I are exhausted every single day.... over 6 years later we are STILL exhausted, It's not better and we honestly know the only way we're making it through each day is because of God. We have nothing left in the tank, we're just hanging on wondering is this as good as it gets until they are finally moved out of our home? Will we make it that long?

I miss "Us".... I miss time just being with my hubby when someone isn't demanding, screaming, bickering, arguing, yelling, needing, needing, needing.... Tears well up instantly in the wee hours of the morning, or late hours of the night when I'm alone.... when THEY are finally asleep and I'm alone with my thoughts. I miss "us", I miss "US"... I miss what once was... before them. I'm sad that I feel that way... I didn't want too, I didn't mean too, but that's honestly where I'm at.

Finally posted almost a year later.... 1 in 4 adoptions disrupt... We became a statistic today... this is our story...

I requested to be put on the stand last Friday (Nov 15, 2019) at our TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) hearing. I wanted one last chance to tell all of them just how devastating they've been to our entire family and especially our son over the last 2 years. I didn't know they would clear the court for TPR's, probably for them to save face and not be scolded in public. Only the social worker, head of CPS (Children's Protective Services), lawyers, judge, GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) and JO (Juvenile Officer) remained. Our son was not there. I turned and looked each of one of them in the eye from the stand and told them they'd failed. That they failed us and they failed our son.That we had done everything and more toward reunification with our son only to watch helplessly as they systematically tore our family further a part since day one. I told them none of the services/placements they'd offered were truly trauma informed. I told them they should be ashamed for denying ever single service we requested for our son that we knew would help like EMDR, brain mapping, neurofeedback, SSP... I went into details about how they had falsified records, failed to protect our son, and villanized us WITH PROOF IN HAND. I told them I didn't know how they slept at night. I told them I would remember each and every one of their names FOREVER. The Judge said that sounded like a threat. I told the Judge it wasn't a threat, it was a warning. A warning to them that they should think long and hard about the job they draw a paycheck for as "champions of children". How they live a lie. I told them I hope their consciences are pricked at night when they tuck their children into bed, and they remember my son... the one they failed, and his brothers and sister that have to live with that now. I told them our only comfort is knowing that there is a God who will hold them accountable with unavoidable justice where we can't.

Honestly I was thinking of ALL the families I've come to know in the "underground world of DTD (Developmental Trauma Disorders)/RAD (Reactive Attachments Disorder)" as I spoke to the court. ALL of the families & children across the country, across the world that are being failed EVERY single day by a BROKEN, CORRUPT, dare I even say evil system that's supposed to protect children, and makes a living drawing a paycheck in the name of "protecting children". All of it... the RTC's (Residantial Treatment Center) facilities, case workers, case managers, juvenile officers, judges, therapists, lawyers, CASA workers... ALL of it FAILING families & children everywhere. Villanizing foster parents, adoptive parents, and parents to cover their backsides. In the last two years I have learned so much by what we've gone through with our own son while he's been "in care", and what THOUSANDS of others have gone though with this broken, corrupt "system" of foster care and adoption. Things that would make you sick, things that would make you uncomfortable, things you would find hard to believe, things that shouldn't be happening in this country...

We have families that live in fear, FEAR of the children they're fostering or have adopted. Families that are lied to about the complexity of early childhood trauma. Families that are abandoned by the system that's supposed to help them, then villanized when they fight back for help on their childs behalf, and finally... criminalized when they can't go on any longer and need to disrupt in the courts. 

These poor children through no fault of their own suffer from severe early childhood trauma... they were abandoned, starved, neglected, beaten, poked with needles, given drugs and alcohol, had guns held to their heads, were raped, molested, tortured... and guess what... this isn't just children from other countries, these children come from OUR country too. They come with a whole myriad of behaviors from these traumatic experiences... they lie, steal, make false allegations, self harm, hurt pets, molest other children, urinate and defecate everywhere but the toilet, they destroy homes, marriages, & families. They do everything possible to push away anyone and everyone that would try to get close to them because they trust NO ONE, attaching to another human being is PAINFUL for them. Their whole being goes into FIGHT, FLIGHT, OR FREEZE! 

The tricky part is you would never know that. You would never see what their families see... in public they present as the perfect child... sweet, excellent manners, polite, delightful, helpful... because they have become masters of manipulation. They are accessing resources when interacting with the people around them... they are exercising SURVIVAL skills they learned while being traumatized in childhood. Therapists, doctors, social workers and facility staff more often than not triangulated with those same survival skills against the parents who are trying to help them, trying to attach to them. Parents show up in these "professionals" offices frustrated, angry, depressed, suffering from secondary PTSD and short tempered from dealing with behaviors and feeling helpless over the lack of helpful resources. They take one look at us and assume we are the problem and start trying to fix us!

I live outside of this VERY small town, and these people I scolded court, are very prominent "pillar" type people in our community. I'm sure they are not used to being addressed in this way. But they need to hear the truth! They participate in a evil corrupt system that harms children and their families. When I went to these "professionals" for help with our son, that's exactly how they looked at me. They focused on me, offering me and my husband parenting classes, county paid psych evaluations etc... The focus should have been on my son and the services he desperately needed. Our son who was born into an extreme life of trauma with a meth addicted mother involved in gang life. Our son who after we'd adopted him and presented a LONG honeymoon period, before starting with trauma behaviors... stealing, lying, threatening to kill us, threatening to kill his 3 siblings who'd we'd adopted 2 years earlier. Our son who would not accept correction or redirection of any kind, who began to destroy our home and possessions, who threatened to harm himself. HE needed their focus, but the truth is that they had nothing... they had no trauma informed staff, case workers, therapists or facilities. 

They had "holding pens" where children from trauma like my son were put and given everything they didn't need. What I call "Disneyland experiences" like trips to Six Flags, Silver Dollar City, Bible Camp, and swim parks. Where he was allowed to play rated M video games and watch rated R movies, listen to rap music with every kind of vulgar message and cursing. Where he was rewarded for minimal good behavior with junk food, soda and "good boy bucks" that earned him more screen time. This pipeline of junk and violence to these facilities is what OUR hard earned tax dollars pay for! The more we called/texted/emailed (pleaded, begged, screamed, cried and hollered)  at the facilities asking them to PLEASE not let our son have this diet of junk & violence we knew were not good for him, the more we were villanized, cut off and ignored. We emailed them link after link after link of trauma informed research supporting our requests. They dug in and continued to ignore us, undermine and belittle us to our son, make sure their schedules didn't coincide with ours for therapy, family meetings & FST meetings. In 25 months we had less then 10 family therapy session offered to us, although we requested them WEEKLY despite the 4 hour round trip to get there. We had therapists and staff manipulated by our son, telling him that "he just might not be able to live in our home, we were too conservative/strict for him". We argued repeatedly with CD providers in FST meetings over our stance on video games based on trauma informed research which we shared with them, We repeatedly told them how neither they, or our son were going to bully us into allowing them so he could be happy at home. That attempting to "wear us down" on this was not the right message to be sending our son.

We had false documents submitted by disgruntled facility case workers give to CD social workers, who then admitted them as evidence in our court case. We were literally handed these records in court, unable to even read them until we'd left court and were standing outside in the parking lot. We asked the court appointed lawyer many times how to fix these erroneous records and were told he would look into it with no follow up. We posed many questions to our court appointed lawyer, with evidence in hand to verify what we were saying, he made copies of everything we brought and never followed through on any of it. We sent many emails stating specific "problems" we wanted fixed, that were important to us and important to our sons record. Nothing was ever addressed, or fixed. Some of our emails concerning fees were completely unanswered both by the lawyer and the juvenile office.

Our son was molested by another boy in his first placement, and we were kept away so he couldn't tell us. The facility didn't report the incident to CD as required by law. When were finally able to visit him he immediately pulled his Dad aside to tell him and I spent my daughters 6th birthday in the car calling the GAL, JO and caseworker to report it. I told them we would not return him to the facility, that we were taking him home until they could move him. I was threatened with possible kidnapping charges until they finally agreed!! A report was made in front of me by my son to an emergency caseworker documenting the incident. We took him to our FNP for an interview the next day and had the incident documented and hot lined. Later the facility changed its documents, falsifying them, and swept it under the rug... the JO, GAL, lawyer, social worker, case worker, county sheriffs office ALL knew and did NOTHING! Even the Children's Division Child Abuse hotline failed him! They closed their case due to "insufficient evidence" never having spoke to us our our son. I repeatedly left messages to speak with them about their findings, and to this day they have never returned my calls. 

Also it should be noted while our son was in his first CD placement he was never required to do school, and we were never given any academic records or health records. He was taken off site by staff to private homes for the holidays. His conversations with us were controlled by his case worker, and our son told us there were things they wouldn't allow him to say.


His next placement was a "Therapuetic Foster Home" in Lebanon Missouri. We were told Mrs. Ray had 20+ years experience.


I was actually pretty surprised no one interrupted me, and I actually got to say what I said. Especially when the GAL was asked if our son was aware of the proceeding today, and she assured the judge he understood, to which I replied "REALLY? You're telling this court that our 13 yr old son, who is documented by YOUR child psychiatrist as being at a 3rd grade level emotionally/academically/socially because of SEVERE TRAUMA understands he has just cut the only real family he's ever known loose because he wanted a family that would let him play violent video games? Really!? She just looked at me like I had three heads.

This the mentality families are up against! Or worse! Children's division all over the country is making bonuses on adoptions from fostercare. They are taking children and turning them against their families when they've been COURT ORDERED to reunify... lawyers, Judges, CASA workers, social workers and Juvenile officers are all inn the same "boys club". None of them will stand up and tell the truth because they are either corrupt themselves or afraid of the back lash from the system they're part of. 

A week after our court date, where we were forced by circumstances beyond our control to sign Termination of Parental Rights for our son I woke up really struggling and wrote this to my "underground DTD/RAD group"...
 
I'm really REALLY struggling this morning... trying so hard just to give it to God. All the unreturned emails, all the unreturned phone messages & texts, the canceled meetings/therapies when we were already half way there on a 4 hr round trip to the facility... 2 YEARS of ignoring us, TWO YEARS! costing us our son... but it took less than 7 days to get "the bill" from court. I'm devastated, we had no idea we'd be picking up the tab for the GAL that hated and villanized us from day ONE. Folks we are a LOW income family, and I asked the lawyer MONTHS ago when we got a bill all of a sudden from his office, to check with the judge about his fees because I know we meet, probably exceed income guidelines for free representation. At court I asked him if he'd spoke to the judge and he crossly told me he hadn't had time, if we couldn't pay the bill just don't pay it. Ya right, like I'm falling for that. I want to send a letter to each of them with our payment, telling them I don't know how they sleep at night, how they live with themselves...... We'll pay for a lawyer who filed a few papers, sat in a few FST meeting and never said a word, didn't return emails or phone calls, listened to me cry my eyes out WITH PROOF IN HAND about what CPS was doing to our son and our family and did NOTHING. We'll pay a GAL who villanized us from day one, literally DAY ONE because in all her "experience" she was immediately manipulated by our charming RAD. The same GAL who knew he was molested in his first placement and the facility failed to report, then falsified their documents to protect their butt. The same GAL who knew his 2nd placement was illegally going against the court ordered reunification and turning him even further away from us, documented by a provider that witnessed this first hand... they are both going to get paid VERY well by us for screwing our son and us! I'm SO ANGRY I just don't know how or what to do with it... there is just SO MUCH MORE to hate them for... God help me....

The "real" of Adoption....

My last post was in May of 2017... Life is crazy, always exhausting, and I cry out to the LORD daily to forgive me, shield me, guide me and most of all sustain me.

Never in a million years could we have guessed how adopting 4 little children from trauma would change our lives. It has been the hardest thing we've EVER done. Looking back we can see now how we were totally unprepared for what trauma was doing to them and how it would consume our lives as well.

It's like eating glass daily... hoping at some point you'll get used to it. There is an entire network of parents/families going through this "the underground world of RAD" in FB groups. All coming together in support, in brokenness, in complete and utter desperation... the groups you're so happy to find, but no one wants to be there. Where you welcome each new person who finds it , but wish they weren't there. There's also a group for those that can't take it anymore, the "Adoption Disruption" group... where people are quietly directed in private because no one but someone living with this could possibly understand.

I even joined a Adoption Support group... but it was hard to watch all the hopeful parents, eager to adopt, not knowing the "dark side" they may find..... I posted our story, parts of others stories... hoping to educate them, warn them...

So many times I've sat here staring at this screen wanting to say what's been on my heart, but it would be so hard for some of you to hear :( My experience may not become your experience... but it might, and that's what compels me to tell you my story. I came from a "dysfunctional family" and my hubby came from a really "messed up family". We had two sons, we chose to raise them differently, we PURPOSED to be good parents, to raise them away from all the stuff we'd grown up with. I stayed at home, and home educated them. My hubby worked hard. We were poor by most people's standards, but we were happy! We raised two amazing, thoughtful, giving young men... now in college becoming engineers, a parents dream, a dream life. Except this... in their teens, a family we knew in our homeschool group went and rescued their great nephews (3) and niece... their mom was a meth addict, a very dangerous person. The great Aunt who rescued them had guardianship of them after awhile because the bio mom disappeared. She had health problems and they were a HUGE handful for her, you can only imagine the trauma these little ones had come from poked with needles, beaten up by grown adults, guns held to their heads, starved. So we started watching them on weekends and taking them for weeks at a time so she could rest... we became attached to them and them to us. They littlest 3 started slipping up and calling us "Mom & Dad". We started to feel our hearts open to the idea of adoption although we'd never considered it before. We started to pray about it, and felt that the LORD had really lead us to be there for them. We approached the great Aunt about adopting them and keeping them together because she'd started to search for different homes for all of them because of her health. Long story short, we adopted this little sibling group at ages 14mos, 6 yr old twin boys, and their 7 yr old brother.... they are now 6, 10, 10 and 11 yrs. It has changed our lives in very hard, hard ways. We were naive to trauma bonds, and how deeply entrenched they would be in those trauma bonds... here we are still struggling EVERY single day to get the right services, helpful services for them. It is ALL consuming, completely EXHAUSTING, and it changes your life in ways you will never imagine... you lose friends, you lose family, people judge you, judge your children... your bio children lose the Mom & Dad they've known their whole lives. You are a piece of your former self to them now. They don't invite friends over, because someone is always raging. You can't go to their special events because transitions are too hard for the little ones. They watch you become shadows of who you once were. They tell you they may never have children of their own because they are now traumatized. You become recluses, you feel trapped. You may have to put locks on your doors to keep them from running when they're raging. You may have to lock up all sharps, meds, and valuables (even food) because they can't be trusted. Some of them will urinate and defecate all over your home, report you for abuse because they're mad at you for asking them to clean their room. They punch holes in your walls, smash things, shred furniture, hurt pets and other children... you may have to put plexiglass or plywood over windows to keep them from busting the glass out. Adoption is not all babies and dreams come true... even newborns straight out of the hospital can have trauma... it starts in UTERO... with stress chemicals, drug and alcohol abuse. I want so much to be happy for all of the adoptive parents who are so excited to be getting home studies completed, or paired with their child... but a part of me cringes, prays for you, hopes my story is not your story....

the last two weeks

The last two weeks have been hard... beyond the normal hard with littles behaviors which have been off the walls. I've spent 4 out 7 days holding a raging nine year old and not getting much else done.


On top of that we had our laser printer and my laptop break down, someone tried to break into my sons van and did all kinds of damage, then we took the said van to have some engine work done and learned it would be close to $4000. It went to the junkyard and I am now without a vehicle so my sons can get to work and class :(

The good news is that a little over $1000 later, I have a new laptop, and the laser printer is fixed.

Celebrating the little things

Today I'm celebrating a good day, no one raged, no one destroyed anything... yes there are about 2 hours until bed time, but I'm hopeful that at least for today we were ok.

That's what life with children from trauma is like, you have to focus on the littlest successes to get through each day. You have to stand firm and not let the darkness and drama suck the life out of you.... you can't give up.

When does it get better?

That's the question we've been asking ourselves a lot lately... when will it finally get better??

I think when all is said and done, I'm going to write a book about adoption and ALL the things they never tell you.
Things one should know, and be prepared for BEFORE embarking on this journey that WILL change your life.

And not just in happy ways, but in the nitty gritty "damn what did we do" ways... like when they're in a rage and throwing your tablet and laptop, or hurling hard toys across the room, punching holes in your walls and shaking the only TV you own because they are out of control and don't care in that moment who or what they hurt.

When they scream for hours... and hours.... and HOURS because they're angry they're not getting their way, or toss your coffee table and chairs around like bean bag sacks to the point so many are broken you don't even have enough chairs to go around your table anymore.

When they dismantle your home PIECE by PIECE... destroying siding & skirting, BBQ pits...

When they swear at you, say the most vile hurtful things you could never have imagined... when they accuse you of being JUST like their "meth mom"! You know the one that starved them, poked them with needles, allowed grown adults to beat them up and hold guns to their heads.

We're in that place, we're in that place of watching everything we've ever scrimped and saved to buy being destroyed day by day.

Guess what people if you live in a rural area you're screwed for help, counselors, therapists are stretched thin in these areas and driving to big cities to find help isn't doable when you have 4 kids that will fight in your car the whole way there and back.

YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.... hear me people... if you live in a rural area and didn't adopt your children through the state YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.

and if you have 2 insurances like private and Medicaid, good luck with that! LOL! Therapist tell me they can't even get paid to help you because of the RED TAPE involved.

and the whole time you search and search for help, watching your children flounder, suffer, get sicker because you're not willing to sign them over to someone else to fix. You can send them LOTS of places! But try to find someone who will help you fix your family together and they scatter like cockroaches.

Struggling and being real about it

That's where I've been for a while now... struggling.

Struggling to make all nine of us and our "stuff" to fit in our limited space and keep my sanity...
Struggling with menopause, being exhausted and crazy out of whack periods every 3 or 4 months that can last a week to over 2 weeks...
Struggling to parent our littles in a way that will change hearts, not just behavior...
Struggling with frustration and anger being WAY to close to the surface when things aren't working the way I think they should...
Struggling with feeling isolated from other women, and the bonds that help with those seasons of struggling...
Struggling with a season that hasn't allowed my husband and I time to be with each other and just unplug for a bit...

and through all this struggling, I became more and more... angry.

It started as mild frustration, and grew into this monster ready to pounce at every offense. I'm not proud of it, not excusing it... I'm convicted by it, broken hearted over it, and for the longest time felt powerless over it, completely powerless over it no matter how hard I tried to contain it or change it. I was allowing my big, busy, exhausting life to keep me from doing what I needed to do the most... seek the Lord.

Time in my bible pressing close to the one true source had become non existent... sleeping a little more, or chatting a little longer on social media because of loneliness, or busying myself with never ending homemakers chores had replaced Him.

It should be no surprise that things had become the way that they are, but it's amazing how sometimes one can't see (or stubbornly excuse) what's right in front of their own nose.

I read two great articles this morning that the Lord really used to show my His path...

http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-power-of-words-in-christian-home.html

and

http://www.intoxicatedonlife.com/2016/09/26/real-reason-get-angry-kids/

If your struggling, I highly recommend reading both these articles.

I'd love to pray for you, and if you can... pray for me.

Sherri

Wonder what she's thinking?

Summer's ending....

So my last post was at the beginning of Summer, we'd had plenty of rain and the ground was soaked... well as life would have it Summer is ending that way also, lol.

It hasn't cooled off just yet officially ending Summer, but we've had a few cooler days letting us know that Autumn is right around the corner... I love Autumn, and everything about it. The changing leaves, cooler temps, less bugs and humidity... and especially the flurry of activity that comes with the rest of the year. Apple picking, cave tours, park play dates, homeschool co-ops... right into Thanksgiving, and eventually Christmas.

The littles and I joined a local homeschool co-op taking art, geography and science. It's a long day for us because we squeeze speech therapy in that morning, take Keegan to work, eat our lunch and then head straight to co-op. The littles love it, but are adjusting to that change in our schedule. Any variation in our schedule usually comes with some transitioning issues, but we're marching onward, praying the period of adjustment comes quickly.

We are still hitting the language arts hard, everyone is doing fantastic and the doors of imagination are opening ever wider for them as they gain those reading skills. Oddly enough, my littles are the most peaceful when learning. It's the free time they don't seem to know how to manage. I have never seen 4 children more eager to read then these 4!! From the time their little eyes open in the morning until they close at night, it's mom spell this, mom is this how you spell, what sound does this make, what does this say... If it weren't so good for them, it would be easily overwhelming with x4 coming at you the whole day!! I pretty much have a book shoved in my face most the day, lol

I feel abandoned for the next 3 weeks, lol. Kathy my friend who's been tutoring us weekly in Language, will be out of town, and Linda our family therapist will be busy with her daughters wedding. I will miss them both dearly while they're gone, they tend to bring sanity to my otherwise crazy existence.

We have a bunch of birthdays coming up!! Joshua turns 10, September 17th. The twins, Micah & Noah turn 9, October 8th, and my baby turns 21 years old on October 12th! How that happened I'm still not sure, but I will forever be grateful I got to spend those years with him.

Nathaniel and Keegan have started college, and are doing really well. I'm glad they have each other to tackle this season of life with. They're still saying some engineering field, time will tell. They have such a busy schedule now! 3 days of work, 3 days of school... I miss them, and I miss their help. It's been a HUGE adjustment for me not having my capable guys here to pitch in. Right now we're just getting done what has to be done, not much time or energy for extras.

We have some big time consuming projects to tackle when the weather finally cools for good. All the things I sent to the barn were tossed in with no organization, that will ALL have to be gone through and organized now :( My hubby will need to finish his tool bench and move his tools from the shed to the barn, making room for all the things that finally need to go in the shed. It will be a lot of moving & organizing for sure.

There always so much more to tell, and not enough time to tell it, lol... Much of it is only shared with those closest to us... the main thing is God is good, always faithful, always stretching us in not so comfortable ways for our betterment. He knows (and a few close friends) how hard it's been with the littles and their behavior. How trauma to ones so small can have such lasting effects. We're tired, raw and frankly not in a good place more often then we'd like. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can prepare one for the emotional roller coaster that comes with early childhood trauma. There are days I honestly don't know how we'll keep going, but we know we will... with His help we will, one day at a time.

We covet your prayers, let us know if you need praying for!

Many blessings,
The Corbett Family
Charles, Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Joshua, Micah, Noah & Chloe

Summer 2016 begins....

So here I am again, lol.

The warmer weather of summer has begun (YUCK!)after weeks and weeks of rain. The ground has been so saturated it's been like a swamp instead of a yard at times. Hubby got the pool cleaned, fixed some problems with the pump, and now it's officially open!

While the yard is drying up the littles and I have been working hard on reading skills and it's really paying off. I fully expect them all to be reading solidly on their own by the end of summer. Chloe is starting to read too much to everyone's amazement, and it won't be long until she is keeping up with her brothers! Our dear friend Kathy teaches a language class for us almost every other week, and her help has been invaluable to this mom! We are all blooming under her guidance. ST/OT has been working wonderfully for the children also. Our ST therapist and has helped them with many of their speech impediments, and their OT therapist works right alongside me with many of the struggles affecting school work, like right left orientation ect.

Joshua's adoption is final, and the flurry of paperwork almost complete, Yay!! Of course with this new sense of security the next level of testing has begun full on. He's been through so much in his young life, and has so much left to work through. We are taking it one day at a time. We're getting better at weathering the storms and not "feeding the monster". It's all still completely exhausting most of the time with 4 littles and all their needs, but we are in this for the long haul, lol. Our family therapist team has been a huge help. There are many times they just reassure us that we are doing everything possible, that our responses are sound and that it is just going to take time.

I'm in the process of downsizing the amount of homestead critters we currently have. With the amount of focus/time the littles take, it just makes sense for us right now. Nathaniel & Keegan start college in August and downsizing will lighten the load for them too. We sold a third of our chickens, and I'm listing a bunch of our rabbits next. We'll keep just enough breeding stock so that of we want to rebuild we can do it without buying a thing. We've been hatching baby turkeys but selling them and building our own breeding stock. We had hoped our hens could sit their own eggs but found that raccoons were coming in and stealing them. Until we have the time and funds to "raccoon proof" our turkey pens we'll be incubating the eggs.

I'm EXTREMELY relieved to have all the paperwork FINISHED for Nathaniel and Keegan's entrance into college! I cannot even begin to tell you how absolutely relieved I am to have that finished, lol. Their classes start August 22nd and they were able to take all their classes together. It will be a HUGE blessing for them to be able to ride together and have a study buddy in each other for their first semester.

So in light of college starting for them soon, we have been trying to knock the many appointments that need to happen out of the way. We've had SO MANY appointments the last few weeks, that I am ready to throw a tantrum myself! We've had SO MANY in fact my husband had to take 2 days off work to help, we just didn't have enough hands to cover all that needed doing! Let me tell you, spending over 3 hours at a car dealership with 4 bored littles is NO picnic! Poor Keegan had to have the "permanent procedure" to his in grown toenails done AGAIN, and we have an appointment to see an oral surgeon about getting all his wisdom teeth removed before he starts college.

All of that coupled with the fact that Joshua had a significant eye injury which resulted in emergency surgery, and all the follow up visits that entailed. It's been a crazy, CRAZY couple of months for all of us. Through all of this, God has shown again and again His sovereignty through it all. From the almost miraculous healing of Joshua's eye, to the funds being there just in time for the next needed expense. Our Lord truly provides EVERY need!! I am humbled time and time and time again, how He is ALWAYS faithful INSPITE of my pathetic state unworthiness. We truly serve a loving, merciful Creator.

Well it's past lunch and the crew is getting hungry... hopefully I'll get back more often to update. Until then I pray that you and yours are blessed.

Sherri

Surprise! a post so soon :)

I just happen to be sitting here with Noah working on his "short a words" and had time to pop in and update...

We have an adoption date for Joshua, yay!!! April 21st it will be official!!! Then a flurry of final paperwork and we can BREATHE.... well maybe, having four littles doesn't leave much time to breathe, lol.

I celebrated my 50th birthday on the 13th, my family gave me the whole day to be lazy... it was the best gift ever! I got cards from all the children, money from the older boys and perfume from my hubby.

Sadly the issues with my parents never seem to get better and although they could have come out and spent the day with me and their grandchildren, they chose to be busy and send a card instead. I pray for them, it's all I can do. My niece will soon have a wedding and she has made it an "adult only" occasion. So sad that although they appear to be about family it is only geared toward adults. We won't be able to attend under these circumstances which is heart breaking, but we'll respect their wishes.

The children are all doing fantastic in their studies! I wish we were doing that well emotionally and behaviorally. Unless you've parented children from hard places you really can't have any idea how consuming it really is. It consumes everything! Energy, patience, emotions, spirit, intellect... it consumes you with a rawness that knows no stopping place at times. It would be so easy to become completely consumed by it all, there are days when the only thing stopping that is prayer.

It's a roller coaster out of control, dotted with peaceful moments, happy moments, break through moments.... only to plunge out of control once again for another wild out of control ride.

Studies are where they're shining right now, I mean really, really doing well! They are excited about school, doors are opening, light bulbs are going off left and right, and reading is taking off wholeheartedly! They have come SO far in intellectual areas from where they used to be. It's amazing that when we first met them, Micah & Noah were literally feral at 3, almost 4 years of age. They couldn't even speak intelligibly, couldn't name different foods. I have to constantly remind myself of where they were and how far they've come.

If you read our blog, please pray for us... we covet your prayers. God is good, He provides where He leads... he is definitely growing us in our 50's like we've never been grown before!

Charlie celebrates his 53rd birthday March 24th... I'm ordering his favorite desserts! French Silk and Banana Cream pies!

God bless, from the Corbett Family

Valentine's Day post

Well here I am again... months later (older) and hopefully wiser. The holidays were filled with making memories for our littles and older children. Bonding together as a family and making new family traditions. We are celebrating the new year continually humbled by just how good God is to us.

Charlie moved to his closer work location back in November and he is home SO much earlier now. We are all enjoying more time with him. It dawned on me that we are celebrating our 30th Valentine's Day together! Well not exactly together, unfortunately it's snowed the last two Valentine's days and he's had to work. Being together that long is such an awesome thing, such a blessing! We've been through SO much through the years, and we've made it. Truly a gift from God. Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie, I love you more then words can say.

The kids are doing great, growing fast, BEING LOUD ALL THE TIME!!! Chloe will be 4 yrs. old in just a few days, and we are still in awe that God granted us three more sons and a daughter!

I have really got the homeschooling thing down this second time around. Many apologies to my older boys who learned along with me the first time around, lol. This time I can honestly claim "veteran" status!

Keegan is working up at Mace supermarket along with Nathaniel now, and our family dynamics are changing as they move forward into the next stage of their lives. I won't lie, I'm happy for them and excited to see where God will lead them, but I'm incredibly sad too. I'm so thankful my hubby understood the importance of my place as a homemaker. I was blessed to be there for their WHOLE life, because it's hard to imagine a time when they will be gone and out on their own. Already I have an empty spot (or two) at the dinner table because someone is working, and the first few times I will admit, it was hard. Or when we want to do something fun and realize one or both of them can't go because of their own schedules... moments like these are... a little painful. it's definitely an adjustment, and it makes me appreciate the time I have left with them under our roof even more.

Joshua's adoption is moving along... the petition has been filed with the court, the newspaper ads are running, and if they go uncontested, we're hoping to get a date in April to finalize :) All the children are still involved with family therapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy. We are starting to reach the deep hurts of the abuse they've suffered as they open up about their lives before they came to be with us. It's hard to hear, breaks my heart... makes me want to dig in even deeper to love them and be patient with them. We have a long road ahead, and a lifetime to cover it.

We accomplished a lot on the homestead last year! Thankfully this year will not hold as many "building projects" as last year. Praying that leads to quieter moments of just "being" and enjoying our time together. I'm looking forward to Spring, warmer weather, and a break from "cabin fever". Hoping for successful gardening this year! We processed our first batch of rabbits finally. It wasn't easy, definitely a learning curve involved to do it quickly and humanely, but hubby has it down now and soon we will taste the fruits of our efforts.

For some reason I can't load pictures to the blog now, which is a bummer because they've all changed so much. You'll have to keep up with me on FB to see those. Well hubby should be home soon from his 12 hour shift on Valentines... I have an excellent meal waiting for him and can't wait to see him :)

Blessings,

Sherri

9-29-2015

I miss updating... I really do... but life with 4 littles still has me not knowing if I'm coming or going most days! Yes you heard me right, not THREE littles... FOUR! How'd that happen you ask?? Well God has a sense of humor! Just when we thought we were finally getting our act together with 3 littles, God said guess what, change of plans!! We had our littles older brother for the Summer. He's been through a lot for someone so young (8 yrs. at the time) and after several failed adoption placements through no fault of his own he was living back with his Aunt, and becoming quite a handful. Hubby and I talked about the fact that she was at the end of her rope, and at 8 yrs. old he just could not be out of options. Soooo we decided to have him for the Summer and pray about how God may choose to use us, or not. Long story short, we know God brought this child full circle back to us, and here is where he belongs. We will be adopting again :) Adoption is never a speedy process, but we know that's where we're headed. Missouri requires 6 months of guardianship and a home study before adoption, so that's what we're working on now.

Me... I'm homeschooling four littles, well officially three but Chloe insists on starting early so I accommodate her, lol. We are still growing the homestead. We have chickens, rabbits and we've added turkey's! Interesting creatures, very aware of their surroundings. With Nathaniel & Keegan I was the "karate mom" shuttling them 1, 2, sometimes 3x a week to various martial arts practices, and orchestrating/doing F.A.I.T.H. homeschool group activities. With our newest littles we are doing a homeschool science/art/music/cooking co-op and running to speech/occupational/family therapy every week.

Hubby... Still working at MoDot, but looking forward to a transfer in November. We're excited he'll be moving to the St. Clair shed, it which will shave about an hour and a half off his daily drive to work time. Yay!! More time with us! He also finally got his official "man cave" which he is excited to have. He's already created a "home Dojo" in it, and is working on the "shop" part now. It gives him a place to work out and spend time with the kids. I even have a corner for storage, weeee!!

Nathaniel... loves his job at the Mace grocery store. He's thinking college in the Spring of 2016 now that's he's had a little time to save up some money. He's taken to collecting old time pieces, mainly pocket watches, and become friends with an older fellow who repairs the for a living at a jewelers in Sullivan. Nathaniel offered to apprentice under him to learn more about his hobby, and the fellow happily accepted. Nathaniel has also found he really likes attending the "Old English" country dances they hold monthly, and goes with a group of friends.

Keegan... has officially graduated high school, and is also working at Mace and enjoying his first job. He seems in no hurry to drive and takes full advantage of his brother (and I) running him wherever he needs to go. He will also start college in the Spring. Keegan's been my right hand guy when home, helping with the children, homestead and house. God has truly blessed me with two wonderfully giving teens. I'm still a little melancholy about them moving on to the next phase of their lives and seeing less of them. Thankful they're loved by their bosses, and given Sunday's off so we still have a day of family time with everyone home.

Micah & Noah... have come a LONG way from the little boys we met and fell in love with 4 years ago. Micah is an easy student, takes pride in his work and is doing really well in school. He loves to build things and creates very elaborate, well thought out creations with his Lego's. Noah is very artistic and LOVES to draw and cut paper, he makes the most unique 3D creations with his imagination! He's come a long way in school and is finally starting to enjoy the process instead of feeling frustrated by it. We're definitely still dealing with past issues and the feelings that come with them, but the future is bright and God has been good.

Joshua... (formally Jesse) is settling in and seems genuinely happy here. I don't think he's felt that way in a really long time. Happiness and learning to trust that happiness is, and has been a new experience for all of them. When Joshua was "just visiting" for the Summer, it was obvious that he was torn between two worlds. The unknown world, his world... and the one his brothers and sister live in. A peace seemed to settle over him after Charlie and I asked him if he wanted to be part of our forever family. He was given the same choice as his brothers to choose a new name with his new life, and honestly... at almost 9 yrs. old, we didn't know if he would choose a new name or not but it was his decision to make. After a week or so he started to try out new names, and finally decided he really liked Joshua Patrick Corbett. School is till hard for Joshua. He is where the others were when they came to us, hurried, busy, scattered, lost... but in time he will learn to trust the process, and eventually even enjoy it.

Chloe... is smart, she LOVES school! She will be my easiest student by far, and my biggest challenge to parent EVER! Chloe is a force to be reckoned with, lol. Helping her to channel that "unbendable will" in a positive way without one of us breaking, will take me to places as a parent that I've never been. I'm standing on scripture that promises the Lord will provide where He leads! She is our sunshine on her good days, and a storm to be weathered on the bad.

I won't lie, it's been hard bringing these littles back together for healing. We have days where the endless bickering may actually drive us insane. When the yelling, screaming and crying make me SOOOOOOO thankful we live in the country where there's nothing but livestock to hear it. This path we are on, allowing God full access in using us... has stretched us as parents, and as individuals in ways we didn't know we could be stretched. It has humbled us, stripped us, and truly taken us out of ourselves. It's been raw, painful, and things words can't even describe... But it's been amazing, enlightening, beautiful... Holy... to watch Him at work in their lives. He has provided in miraculous ways, literally MIRACULOUS ways so many times throughout this journey with them. There is absolutely no doubt whatsoever to anyone who's been a part a part of this... that this has been a GOD THING! We have been incredibly blessed by truly humble people that have prayed on us, loved on us, helped us, and more importantly allowed God to use them. They are such a sweet part of our journey, our story that we are writing together as our family grows. I pray God's blessings be generously poured out on them, for they have stored up treasure in Heaven that will last forever. You know who you are, and we are eternally thankful for each and every kindness you've bestowed on our family.

With truly humble & happy hearts...
The Corbett Family
Charles, Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Joshua, Micah, Noah & Chloe

been awhile.....

So I've tried to update several times and each time I tried to add pictures it would freeze and eventually be lost :(

There have been WAY to many things happen since November 2014 for me to even begin to fill you in, lol

I will start with where we are today... to date we have tried our hand at animal husbandry! We had our first 14 kits born in the rabbitry and we have 10 turkeys eggs in the newly acquired incubator, yes we have added turkey's to the homestead :) It started with a freebie and well you know how that goes, now we have 3 yearlings with more on the way!

the littles are all growing like weeds, doing great in school, and loving their country life... we've come a long way. The Lord has been so patient and kind to us, we've learned so much, and continue to learn and grow, each and everyday.

The olders are starting to move into the next phases of their lives, Nathaniel has a job now and is socking money away for when he starts college. Keegan is wrapping up high school, could have finished this year but decided to do a few more advanced math courses first, love the freedom of homeschooling!!

Charlie is still at MoDot, working hard. He's looking forward to getting a large workshop and having a man cave that I will frequent often, lol.

We are in a "building stage on the homestead phase". This is a year of building and projects, moving animal pens, heavy equipment coming to clear more land for the work shop and a future orchard. Plus re-doing and adding to our garden area. New raised beds, hoop style green houses, and running power to other areas of our little homestead. Next year will be a "growing phase on the homestead" when we plant the new garden areas and the start the orchard :) Lot's of work, lot's of learning, lot's of family time... wouldn't have it any other way!

God Bless, the Corbett Family

so here it is.... November!!

Well here we are, it's November and as usual so many events have passed... the adoption is final, praise God! That was a HUGE milestone for our family. The children were so excited, so happy to finally be official Corbett's!! The whole "court experience" was fascinating for the children, and for us. We celebrated by going out to lunch, Micah & Noah picked Chinese buffet, lol.

In September Ed was taken to the ER after getting some concerning lab reports. I donut size mass was found on his ascending colon and was removed. Unfortunately it was cancerous and involved lymph nodes. While he was in the hospital, he developed C-DIF. He was sent home with C-DIF and antibiotics, and we were told it would be fine. He began oral chemo at home a few weeks later, and within a very short time he became very ill and very weak. We took him to the ER again, where it was determined he was in acute kidney failure. He was admitted back into the hospital, where he almost died from complications to the C-DIF. A experimental procedure was his only hope, and Charlie was his donor. Fortunately it worked and he started to turn the corner. When he was finally well enough to leave the hospital, but not strong enough to come home, they released him to Gibbs Nursing home in Steelville where he continues to recover.

School is still going well, Micah & Noah are learning the calendar and love knowing when "Taco Tuesday" is approaching! They're growing like weeds... they won't be little for long, so I try to slow down and enjoy this season.

Slowing down can be very hard to do on even a small homestead. There is always work waiting to do, things undone, things getting added to the "to do" list that seems to grow much more then shrink. Even as I type this, I have pears and apples waiting to be processed, jelly and jam to make for the craft show I will be at next Saturday, freezers packed with fruit needing to be processed... I struggle with the never ending list of things to get done. If I'm not careful, it can steal my contentment, which isn't a pleasant place to be. I often wish I had mentoring "old timers" to show me the way... how did they get it all done?! What would their advice be? When we start to plan where our homestead is headed in the future, it's daunting task. At some point we would like to add pigs, turkeys and ducks. We have some structures needing replacing like the chicken coop, and new ones needing to be built. There is always a learning curve in homesteading, lol. For instance we would never build a chicken coop again that didn't have a concrete floor, who knew chicken poo would eat through floors over time! Not a city dweller turned homesteader :)

The rabbitry is going well, we've yet to butcher or breed, but we've had lots of practice in maintaining them and nature has culled those not strong enough for outdoor life. We will breed for the first time in the Spring and then have grow outs for freezer camp. it's give us time to perfect the actually running and maintaining of the rabbitry, and add equipment.

The chickens are a SORE subject for me this year, they were my youngest teens responsibility and he severely dropped the ball. We spent a pretty penny making a beautiful brooder pen so they could be raised outside, and I worked very hard all summer to afford the 40 new chicks we added to our flock. We successfully raised them to the point they were big enough to actually join the flock, and due to my youngest teens inattention we lost all but 6 of them with out him even realizing it :( It's times like these that I wonder if the homesteading will succeed. Of course he felt awful, and hopefully learned a lesson... but the expense of this mistake really hurt. Not only did we lose the chickens and everything put into them at that point, but now we are having to buy eggs to supplement what we are not getting out of our flock until more can be purchased in the Spring (another expense). I'm seriously thinking about investing in an incubator and just dealing with straight run chickens, butchering or selling what we don't keep. It would be more cost effective in the long run, but a chunk of change up front always hurts.

All these plans for growing the homestead to gain self sufficiency, cost initially. So I continually learn where I can be even more frugal then I already am. With the rising cost of groceries we gave up lunchmeat and cold cereal this year. They are crazy expensive, and at this point with a little more effort I can cook things that are way healthier. Thankfully my family loves casseroles & soups. Hubby is not crazy about leftovers, but tolerates them, and the children and I all love them. With chuck at an all time high of $4 a pound we have pretty much given up ground beef. I started experimenting with all our favorite recipes that used ground beef using ground turkey and we found we liked them just fine. So instead of $4 a pound, we like $1.69 a pound much better!

Sadly, with the economy the way it is, thrift store shopping which we've ALWAYS done, has become the norm for many, making things harder to find. Plus even the thrift store have jumped on the band wagon of raising prices just because they can. We are of the mind that if we have things to get rid of, we don't have yard sales... we gift what we can't use to friends and they do the same.

I honestly don't know how people who don't have basic skills of frugality, survive lean times. We have actually learned to thrive in them, but it has taken LOT's of work to get there. One of the most beautifully unexpected things about this lifestyle, is how it gives you a new perspective about everything, literally! The pull of "stuff" and keeping up with the "Joneses" can be so insidiously attractive. Everyone whipping out of the latest this or that, can leave one wishing, wondering. Discontentment can rob one of JOY!

When we leave this life we can't take it anyway! SO I chose to pass down a skill set instead of stuff, contentment instead of "keeping up". Another thing that "stuff" robs you of is your dependence on the Lord. Stuff gives you a false sense of having everything you need, gotten by your own abilities. One thing homesteading has clearly driven home is how we are utterly dependent on Him, and with that comes a true sense of thankfulness. You KNOW exactly where your blessing s come from, PERIOD! Every customer I get at the Farmers Market I know is sent by Him, every dollar we earn, every animal we care for, every child in our care... all carefully orchestrated by Him in His own timing.

Now don't think from what I'm sharing that I don't struggle with "stuff" or a really hard one... God's timing (NOT mine!!) because I do. I "want" things that I know will make the running of our homestead easier and more efficient, keyword "EASIER", lol. But I've been humbled enough by Him to know "easier" is not always going to teach me the important lessons He wants me to learn. Easier will not grow the character in me that He wants.

I want more then anything to please Him, I know that more often then not I fail at doing that... I'm thankful for His mercy, and each new day to try again. If you find yourself struggling with contentment, humble yourself and ask Him to break you. It's gonna hurt, I guarantee... BUT he will always provide where He leads... and we will have something so much better then we could have ever hoped for ourselves :)

God Bless You and Yours, from all of us on the Corbett Homestead
Charlie, Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Micah, Noah & Chloe Corbett

a long over due update on us..........

I had to go look, it's been so long since I last posted... APRIL! Wow, I've never gone that long without saying hello.

All I can say is in that time, we've had computer crashes, a high school graduation, adoption proceedings, issues with my FIL's health, working Farmer's Market, a full blown canning season, homeschooling preschool, 2 Kindergarteners and a HS Senior, while helping my Grad prepare for his next steps.

First the adoption news... We have an adoption hearing Oct. 10th!!! If all goes as expected, the adoption will be final 40 days after the hearing (Nov. 19th) just in time for Thanksgiving!! At that point I will finally feel I can breath a HUGE sigh of relief over this leg of the adventure. It's been a long, sometimes not so easy road but we are almost there. The children are excited, can't wait for the whole thing to be finally official, and excited to be planning an "adoption party". I know that part of them is holding their breath too... waiting for that moment when they know that no one can come snatch them away. It will be a HUGE relief for everyone.

FIL's health... over the last year his glucose levels have been severely out of control at times. He's had instances of passing out, throwing up with blood, and just generally becoming weaker and somewhat incoherent at times. He's been in and out of various hospitals, until finally a regularly scheduled Doctor's apt found something. He was found to have a hemoglobin level of 6, normally transfusions happen at 9. We took him to the nearest ER which was Sullivan MoBap. He was scoped the next day and found to have a donut shaped mass on his ascending colon. He was transferred to MoBap in St. Louis where it was removed and found to be cancerous. This is where we currently are with him. He is still in the hospital and we've yet to hear from the Doctor as to what the course of action will be taken concerning the cancer. In the meantime he has developed a bacterial gut infection that requires staff and visitors to completely gown up. He's been having overnight heart palpitations and has been incoherent at times. 14 days later we are still waiting on answers...

Homeschooling.... has been wonderful! The littles LOVE the curriculum I chose, and beg to do school every day. Chloe insists she gets "school" too and is quite content to sit and color of play with some of the manipulatives while her brothers do school. It is going very smoothly. We've order more curriculum, and will throw in some more subjects when it arrives. Keegan only needs a schedule and he's off to do his subjects... I'm only occasionally needed for clarification purposes, lol.

The Farmer's Market... has been a blessing, adding extra funds to a tight budget. I just pray we can grow the customer base and attract new vendors to keep it viable for everyone. I'm not crazy about driving all the way to St. Clair Mo. every Sat. AM, but it's worked out that a friend from that area can do it with me and I truly enjoy her company every Sat. morning :) The preparation and canning for Market, as well as our family... have pretty much sucked all my "free time" up this summer and not left a lot of room for much else. It's just now starting to slow down a bit as the garden wanes down. My teens have been invaluable helps to me through this whole adventure.

Update on hubby... He's working steady, MoDOT is consistent if nothing else. He was even given a promotion and pay raise recently which is always a blessing. Like with any job, MoDOT has it's good and it's bad, however we are very thankful for the steady work and paycheck that comes with it. Outside of work, I've kept hubby busy with building projects around the homestead... a new brooder pen, roofing and cage tables for the rabbitry, and just being a good sport about all my "wonderful ideas" that keep him busy. That wish list of mine tends to get long.

Me... I feel like I live life thru my kitchen sometimes, lol. Outside of cooking for 8, canning has taken over my life this summer. We've been so blessed with produce overflowing every week. We've made wonderful friends at Market who actually "farm" and bless us over and over with their surplus bounty and good deals... it's kept me busy, busy in my kitchen!! I'm tickled the children LOVE the school choices I've made for them, and wake up excited to do school every morning :) I've got some pretty big projects to see thru before winter (more building for the menfolk) like winterizing the rabbitry, building a new dog house and repairing some hutches, all of which are waiting on funds to complete them. I'm looking forward to a slow down, praying there is one... lazy mornings spent with my little one in my lap, and something yummy baking in the oven.... things I haven't had nearly enough time for.

Well the days chores are calling, much to be done... off to town for feed and hay, then back home to hound Doctors whose bills arrive before the answers to questions...

Above all we give Glory to God, He is in control of all... whether we understand our circumstances or not. I have great peace in that knowledge.

Blessings from our family to yours,
Charles, Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Micah, Noah & Chloe

I know, it's been awhile...

What can I say? if I didn't have time with 2 children, what in the world would make me think I would have time with 5!!

All I can say is the days roll by, one after another turning into months before we know it. The twins have been with us a year now, and Lil sis will have been here a year in another month, that seems so hard to believe. They're growing fast!

So much has happened since I last posted in Feb. Charlie's schedule has changed with him working Sun - Wed, and off Thurs. - Sat. That's been an adjustment, although we're very thankful the weather's improved and he's not working nights plowing anymore. Nathaniel's high school graduation is right around the corner, so we've been attending graduation planning meetings, with the actual graduation planned for May 24th, 2014. Talk about time flying!! It just doesn't seem right to have one almost done with homeschooling, especially when the next graduations won't be until 2015, 2026 and lastly in 2028, now that really sounds weird!

We had the proverbial "when it rains, it pours" happen last month with 3 major appliances. My range and my dishwasher were on their last leg after 16 years of massive use, so we had to replace them. It hurt to spend the money, but I'm a very happy housewife with much better upgrades then what I had :) We also ordered a hot water heater because it's showing signs it's going to be next.

Probably some of the biggest news is, our little ones big brother Jesse is back with is Aunt. This is very disheartening news as we had high hopes for the family he was placed with. It's a long story that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say we feel ALL the adults involved in his life an not making the best choices right now and we are praying about what to do concerning that. We had him over for a weekend so we could observe where he was in his overall spiritual, mental and physical health since he's been gone the last 6 months. Sadly, nothing has changed as far as the relationship he has with his siblings. He's still very much stuck in that bossing, manipulating, place that triggers undesirable behavior in our little’s. It saddens us to see, that his sister is invisible to him, and his only communication with his brothers is to make them his pawns to control. The unhealthy dynamics that were left unchecked for so long in their biological mom's care and their Aunt's care is still very much ingrained in Jesse. Surprisingly, soft spoken Noah has changed the most. He really used the new tools he's been given the last year to advocate for himself as well as family when faced with unfair or bullying type situations. We were very proud of him! Micah however still falls into the role of "fellow bully" in order to not be bullied himself. Only when faced with Noah removing himself from the situation, and the bullying being turned on him did he then start to use the tools he'd been given. It was a situation where if we hadn't literally sat right there with them overseeing everything, melt downs would surely have happened. We want so much to help him, but we know until Jesse is in a family where his needs are being met we have to limit contact with our little’s in order for them not to regress and lose all that they've gained. All of them are so fragile still.

We've also learned that their biological mom was arrested back in December 2013, she was charged with multiple misdemeanors and a couple of felonies. We've been watching the court decisions via the internet and know that several of the misdemeanors and 2 felonies have stuck. She'll be sentenced at the end of April, and from what we can tell she'll be looking at a 1-5 yr. sentence, sigh. So much tragedy for someone so young. Although she is responsible for her decisions and she hasn't made good ones, I can't help but feel sorry for her knowing her story. She is one of 6 children that her mother lost custody of, I'm sure her life was a living hell. Now she is a 27 yr. old mother of 6 children, all of whom she's lost custody of. The cycle was sure to repeat in all or at least some of her children had God not intervened and found other homes.

That's the big "goings ons", there were thousands of little ""goings ons" that I could never even begin to update everyone on... that's where i'll close until the next time I can eek out a few moments in our crazy full, but absolutely blessed lives. Untill then we'll be clinging to Him as always, praying for wisdom and seeking His will and guidance in our lives and the lives we're responsible for.

Blessing to you and yours,
The Corbett Family

One step closer....

We have guardianship!!!! Finally we have a legal standing to protect our littles up until the final adoption day, Yay!! I can't even begin to tell you how much relief there is in knowing that someone would need DEEP pockets to even think about messing with them now... They are growing and changing so incredibly fast. God is so faithful, He has brought them so far in such a short amount of time. He knew they needed a family, and although it felt agonizingly slow to us at times, His timing is always perfect!!

Now we are looking forward to the next big step, July 21st. That will mark the 6 months we've been their legal guardians and can file for adoption :)

Thank you to all our friends who have prayed, who've sent clothing, toys and other things for them. We APPRCIATE each and every one of you more then we could EVER tell you. We will keep you updated!

LOVE!!!
Charles & Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Micah, Noah and Chloe

This is my thought for life....

Well almost a month ago I sat down to update everyone, and wrote the LONGEST detailed post EVER only to have the page freeze and then lose everything I had typed... sooooooooooooo frustrating when it's a hard to get time to type everything in the first place!!

So here we are weeks later, with even more events passing by and I still haven't updated!! Here goes....

Charlie had a rough holiday schedule with over a foot of snow in one day and several smaller storms to follow.... he went from days to night, nights to days... back and forth for the better part of 2 weeks. We had Christmas Day with him and pretty much lost everything else to his schedule. It's hard when he's working nights... keeping children quiet who are trapped inside due to below freezing temps for days on end get's old quick... I felt sorry for the boys most of all. Boys are loud, well at least ours are, and after they had to be quiet for Dad they would have to be quiet for sissy's nap, way to much quiet for them!! For the first time in my life I longed for Spring. For the most part Charlie's schedule is back to normal, at least to the next storm.

We've been attending "Graduation planning" meetings so Nathaniel can make up his mind if wants to participate or have something private. We've decided to leave that up to him, there are pro's and con's to both.

Our Homeschool "High School" co-op class has resumed from the holiday break, and the twins are back at their studies also... Chloe sits along side, and does her "school" with us. We've been attending "Homeschool Gym Day" on Wednesdays and having lunch with friends afterward. It's been a wonderful way to socialize and burn off excess energy from being stuck inside during winter. It's amazing how much my house has shrunk with 3 extra kiddos :)

I've been thinking a lot about Farmer's Marketing, and specifically WHERE I'll set up when the time comes... I fear it's going to involve LOTS of traveling this year :( The ones closer to home have not been headed by people who have the "stick-to-it-ness" it takes to grow a successful well attended market... we may be looking at going all the way to Sullivan, ugh...

It will be a busy 2014 to say the least, homeschooling 5 kiddos, a graduation, farmers market, gardening, canning & dehydrating, keeping a home... and still finding time to play :)

We've turned in all the "Successor Guardianship" paperwork to the attorney, and currently we're waiting to hear what the Judge does when he looks it over. The clerk who received it said it looked like it would all go through no problem... we're waiting....

While waiting we've started thinking about what kind of birthday party to have for Chloe who will be 2 in Feb. I'm thinking something small, just for her... maybe taking her somewhere special if the weather allows.

In the mean time there's the 'day to day' stuff to get done... today I'm tackling laundry, it multiplies as I sleep and is never ending... then I will bake a couple of cakes for a neighbor in need, take time to visit with the elder down the road who's missing her mom who passed terribly, and maybe somewhere in between meals, lessons, and playing mediator for bored children... I will actually get a shower :) It's 3pm now and I just realized I haven't eaten today!! may as well wait for dinner now!

My other post had so much more, but I'm at a loss today to get it all out.... maybe on my next attempt... laundry calls!!

when life hurts......

If you live long enough, you will learn there are times that life hurts... there is no avoiding it... no out witting it... no getting through life without experiencing it.

If you're a Believer, then you know Christ warned about it. He didn't promise an easy "rose colored" life for those that follow Him. In fact, He talked of "taking up a cross" in His name, and being prepared for "long suffering" in His name. The "prosperity preaching" of our time is REALLY sickening! The new reality TV shows displaying "preachers" in their lavish lifestyles are in my opinion straight from the pits of hell. ANYONE preaching that the Lord wants us all to be millionaires is a LIAR! It makes me ill...ILL!!... to see these people leading people to destruction with their lies. It completely plays into that whole "drinking the Kool-aid" mentality of entitlement sweeping this country.

It isn't about rich people being greedy and robbing poor people, although that does happen. It's not about the poor envying the rich and wanting what they have, although that happens too. It's ABOUT Believers living godly righteous lives that God wants to bless, and then using those blessings to care for the widows, homeless, poor, and fatherless. It's not the governments job to care for the people, it's the Body of Christ... His CHURCHES!

BUT churches have sadly become more like the world then the "Body of Christ". They have drunk deeply the cup of complacent entitlement, to please the self seeking masses who have no desire to serve outside themselves or their comfort zones. For those that have found a bible believing church, uninvolved in legalism and other worldly man made self pleasing, self glorifying agendas, then PRAISE GOD and thank Him for it!! They are few and far between.

If however you find yourself in a self glorifying church, that seeks to be politically correct instead of biblically correct, or is so entrenched in legalism they've forgotten the "love of Christ", then I pray the Lord open your eyes and fill you with His spirit... We ARE here to seek and save the lost, SERVE one another in LOVE, and hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable when necessary.

When we serve ourselves, our flesh, we are completely ineffective for the Lord's use. In fact I would go so far as to say we are hurtful to His Body of Believers, His bride, His church. Self professing "Christians" who serve themselves, and that are legalistic... hurt lost people. A lost soul does not experience Christ's love, and their need for true repentance by the worldly bells and whistles of todays churches, or the watered down feel good gospel preached by self glorifying "Kool-aid" serving prosperity preachers.

A lost soul comes to Christ when the absolute horror of their sin is seen as it is through God's eyes. The realization that left to themselves, they're on a path leading to all eternity in the pits of hell. It's then, that the overwhelming power shown in Gods love for that lost sinner in sacrificing his only son for them, and paying the price for them can truly be understood.

Crayon therapy... who knew!?

What is crayon therapy you may ask?...... well it's what I've discovered now that Farmer's market is over, canning projects are caught up, and the house is finally "housing" all the people in it, thanks to months of organizing. One morning while sitting at the table coloring with the twins, they just started to talk about their life before us, their life with "mean mom" as they call her. I sat quietly coloring my picture just listening, and the longer they had my quiet but attentive attention, the more they began to talk. They were safe, and their converstion showed they were very comfortable as they started to relate things they'd been through. Some fears they still had (mean mom coming to snatch them), but mostly what they've been through and how they felt about those things. I learned a lot, a lot of it was hard to hear... but most of all I assured them that they were safe & loved. That the past was over and their future was bright. We'll have many more hours of "crayon therapy" I'm sure, but most of all I'm thankful for the Lord pointing out yet again, that it's when I get quiet and let Him work that the real work gets done. Sherri

Catching up........

That's me, always in a state of "catching up"... never quite caught up because life is always adding on to my "to do" list... My first thought when I get to my blog is always "where in the middle of all this craziness do I begin"????? Where I last left off would take more time then this busy wife, and mom of 5 has... so how about what's on my heart... As you know we're adopting 3 little ones... we feel incredibly blessed the Lord led them into our lives, and then some days we are simply overwhelmed with the responsibility that entails. This has been such a journey, such an incredible journey, and we are still in the very beginning of it. It's been such a HUGE learning curve for all of us, and honestly, a lot of the time we feel like we are "first time" parents all over again. Children who come from homes where they've dealt with severe abuse, neglect, and abandonment are damaged, broken and hurt no matter how much you love them. That's something that we've been trying to wrap our brains around... it was so easy to wrap our hearts around them, to love them, nurture them, provide for them... but it's an entirely different thing to "fix them", "heal them", and teach them how to react to life in a whole new way then what they've learned up until now. Adoption is hard, maybe we were naive... but maybe you almost have to be in order to engage? How many people truly understand when they take on damaged children, that just loving them isn't always enough? There are generational curses, negative behaviors, attachment issues, and hardened attitudes already in place... even in young toddlers! Then you get into what the "system" puts you through in order to add these children to your family. It takes a HUGE amount of money that goes into everyone's pockets, BUT the people who will actually be taking on the financial, spiritual, and physical well being of the children for the rest of their lives. Do you know in the State of Missouri, that if a bio-parent decides to fight the adoption, the adopting family has to PAY FOR THEIR ATTORNEY!!?? How crazy is that! Somedays it's sooooooo stressful trying make ends meet and raise such a large sum of money to "legalize" children we've already made a part of our family. Then other days when we've managed to make everything right in their little worlds, and their smiles light up, they snuggle us just a little tighter, and their laughter sounds through the house... I just let it all go... and know that He is working behind the scenes, and all we need to concentrate on is being a family to these little ones who never really had one. Please, please, PLEASE... pray for us... we have such a long road ahead and there are days we are truly weary. We love and miss all our friends, we wish we could see you more and fellowship with you... but we are fully engaged in the BIGGEST act of love and patience that we've ever encountered and it's really all that we can do right now just to get through each day. Blessings, The Corbett Family <(((>< Charles & Sherri, Nathaniel (18), Keegan (16), Micah (6), Noah (6), Chloe (1)

A new season...

We're settling into a new season at the Corbett homestead... Autumn is in the air, the farmer's market is (regrettably) slowing down, and all the while we are adjusting to our new family size of seven. The littles are growing like weeds and have all picked new names in celebration of their new lives. Ares is now known as Noah Thomas, Alex is now known as Micah Samuel, and baby girl has been named Chloe Ann. It's been very silly in our home getting used to everyone's new names, and Nathaniel's request for the new name of Cornelius was denied, LOL! The twins room has taken much longer to complete then first anticipated, but it's very close now. I don't know what EVER made me think that completely empting a room in an already FULL house would be simple!!! We're actually picking up the last of their furniture this weekend, a dresser and chest. Thank heavens for "Craigslist"!! Overall we found a convertible crib with storage for Chloe, a dresser, chest and bunk bed for the twins, and a HUGE computer armoire for our home office since it had to remain in what is now the twins room. All we have left to do is some "baby proofing", and curtains & curtain rods for their window. Then we'll be all ready for our home study!! Jessie, their older brother has been welcomed into the Ritter home which will be his forever family. His new name is now Matthew John Ritter :) The Ritter family is an AMAZING family and we are sooooo happy for Matthew! He is the 27th child in his new family!! As I stated earlier, the farmer's market is slowing down. Although the extra time at home is WONDERFUL it's come too soon for us financially... I have to stop daily and "be still" knowing He is in control and that worrying about where the extra money will come from now isn't showing faith. I praise Him for ALL the blessings that have flowed from His hand through friends and complete strangers helping us along the way. It's been an amazing thing for our us & our teenagers to watch as each need has been met in miraculous ways along the way. It is ABSOLUTELY clear that He hears and answers prayers, and knows the desires of our hearts. Those of you that know me know that I love Autumn, followed by the crisp bite of winter... with the aroma of bread and cookies baking filling the house... sincerely looking forward to the holidays with our littles here, knowing that we are their forever family :) The adoption does not move at the "faster then light speed" at which our lives seem to move... this is where I'm convinced the Lord is teaching me in particular, patience and the importance of His timing... sadly not a lesson I always learn easily. I hard headedly rush forward only to be impatient, frustrated and overwhelmed by my own hurriedness... duh! What else can I expect!! Maybe by the time grandchildren start to arrive I will have learned this lesson, and have the wisdom to teach them that virtue. We truly covet your prayers, and thank you for the ones you've already prayed on our behalves... they're being answered daily :) Blessings from the Corbett Family <*(((>< Charles, Sherri, Nathaniel, Keegan, Micah, Noah & Chloe

Life's a blur, but a wonderful journey all the while!

Well as you can see it"s been another month since I posted last... What can I say?! There are days I'm lucky to get a shower!! The children are all doing well, homeschool begins next week and I'm racing to get all my copies made and bunders organized, while still logging last years grades, whew!



Little Sis

If your following this families blog then don't blink because you may actually miss something really important!

Where to begin... to make a LONG story relatively short, we ARE adopting!!! That's the short part of it, now for the longer part....
The last couple of months the 3 little boys 15 month old sister came to live with us too. It started out to be time that she could visit her brothers and get to know us because the Aunts oldest son had a serious accident and was in the hospital for quite awhile. Thankfully he's well now and been released.
So we've had little sis and the 3 little boys for awhile, and our house has changed to include the teens, preschoolers and toddler :)
While we had the 3 little boys living here for several months it involved weekly visits from their therapist. We were just sure we could bond these 3 little guys together as a family and gave it our all. We'd been warned by the Aunt and the therapist that there was a very real possibility that, that wouldn't happen but we tried and tried anyway. Unfortunately whatever happened to the eldest when they were returned home to bio mom for that short 4 weeks, really traumatized him. Sadly it finally started to sink in for us that he just couldn't be happy when he was with his brothers. He had been through too much, and the dynamics between them were so unhealthy, it just broke our hearts.
After many conversations with the therapist, we finally agreed that the oldest would be better back with his Aunt until she could seek adoption for him. A family all his own. He'd requested that several times to the therapist and we just had to let go. He is now doing very well at his Aunts, and will be meeting a potential family soon. We're happy for him, and pray that the Lord brings just the right family into his life so that he can move on and heal.
Well if you've done the math, you know that we have 3 little kids at our house, the twins and their little sis. They've done wonderfully together and at this point in time we have commitment from the Aunt that we will be adopting them! They're already calling us mom & dad, and we are settling into our new family size of 7. We knew the twins had always wanted to be here, they'd dropped enough hints over the months and now we can finally tell them YES you can live here forever :) I would never have guessed in a thousand years that would include little sis, and we would have a daughter also!! A little girl... already wrapping Daddy around her tiny little finger :)
The Aunt just received guardianship of all the children and can now make legal decisions concerning them. As soon as her paperwork is finished being filed, she will give us custody of the 3 we're adopting so that we can make legal decisions concerning them through the adoption process. We are currently working on funds for a lawyer, getting their room finished and frankly, just keeping up with the children :)
It's been a whirlwind of events for sure, and we still have a long road of fees and red tape ahead... but in the mean time we are blessed and living life to the fullest with our new additions. I know without a doubt that the Lord will provide for where He's led us... it doesn't make the waiting easy though :)

Sherri <><
Blessed Mom of Five!!