When does it get better?

That's the question we've been asking ourselves a lot lately... when will it finally get better??

I think when all is said and done, I'm going to write a book about adoption and ALL the things they never tell you.
Things one should know, and be prepared for BEFORE embarking on this journey that WILL change your life.

And not just in happy ways, but in the nitty gritty "damn what did we do" ways... like when they're in a rage and throwing your tablet and laptop, or hurling hard toys across the room, punching holes in your walls and shaking the only TV you own because they are out of control and don't care in that moment who or what they hurt.

When they scream for hours... and hours.... and HOURS because they're angry they're not getting their way, or toss your coffee table and chairs around like bean bag sacks to the point so many are broken you don't even have enough chairs to go around your table anymore.

When they dismantle your home PIECE by PIECE... destroying siding & skirting, BBQ pits...

When they swear at you, say the most vile hurtful things you could never have imagined... when they accuse you of being JUST like their "meth mom"! You know the one that starved them, poked them with needles, allowed grown adults to beat them up and hold guns to their heads.

We're in that place, we're in that place of watching everything we've ever scrimped and saved to buy being destroyed day by day.

Guess what people if you live in a rural area you're screwed for help, counselors, therapists are stretched thin in these areas and driving to big cities to find help isn't doable when you have 4 kids that will fight in your car the whole way there and back.

YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.... hear me people... if you live in a rural area and didn't adopt your children through the state YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.

and if you have 2 insurances like private and Medicaid, good luck with that! LOL! Therapist tell me they can't even get paid to help you because of the RED TAPE involved.

and the whole time you search and search for help, watching your children flounder, suffer, get sicker because you're not willing to sign them over to someone else to fix. You can send them LOTS of places! But try to find someone who will help you fix your family together and they scatter like cockroaches.